Why is Change so Hard?

Find Your Middle Ground

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It comes up in many conversations. We struggle with how things are, and what to do to bring about what we want in life. We ask ourselves “Why is change so hard?”

What a great coaching question. And one I will elaborate here in this re-post.

Three things come to my mind that are supported by scientific research:

  • We are hard wired to be in our comfort zone. It’s for human survival … and reinforced by how we deal with difficult emotions growing up. We react to the stressors with a fight, flight, or freeze response, then act out learned behaviors that we think will take away the discomfort and fear. Those behaviors often keep us stuck and in a cycle of disappointment and feeling like a failure.
  • In some circumstances we may fail to see change happening already around us. Our own conditioning…

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How To Start A Self-care Routine…

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog! I hope you are all having a lovely week so far!

How are you all doing? Have you taken time to focus on self-care? If so, comment below and let me know your self-care secrets!!

Today’s post is about that all important self-care routine!! Who has a routine in place already?

First things first, I want to start this post off by reminding you all that self-care is NOT selfish. Let’s say it again…. Self-care is NOT selfish! Nor is it a waste of time – it’s a very important part of our lives and something we need to focus more on. Let’s go back to basics and let’s ask ourselves a really simple question- on a scale of 1-10 how is your mental health? How is your physical health? How is your emotional health?

It doesn’t matter if you answered really…

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The Wisdom of Being Wrong — Pointless Overthinking

If only things were that simple. If only events could be packaged into neat containers of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ or ‘good’ and ‘evil’. Despite our proclivities towards binary and dualistic thinking, life is a whole lot messier. Many circumstances are morally ambiguous and uncertain. Being in this metaphorical ‘grey’ area of not knowing can be…

The Wisdom of Being Wrong — Pointless Overthinking

How To Adjust To New Seasons Of Life — Olivia Lucie Blake

I remember the first time I heard someone use the phrase new seasons of life. And I really loved how it sounded. Whenever I go through new changes or circumstances in life, I often now refer to them as new seasons of life. And recently I went through one myself. Often they are hard to…

How To Adjust To New Seasons Of Life — Olivia Lucie Blake

The Flow of Life: The Wisdom of Wu Wei — Pointless Overthinking

Why is it that we spend so much time and effort pursuing goals and desires that go against our natural intuitions and inclinations? Motivated by the longing for external praise and validation, we chase lofty ambitions which ultimately feel inauthentic and unnatural. This is akin to trying to swim against rather than with the flow…

The Flow of Life: The Wisdom of Wu Wei — Pointless Overthinking

How to build an easy system of self care – 6 strategies to get started

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The phrase “self care” is used so much that many of us are desensitized to it. I think that if we step back and define self care as an intentional way to truly support and empower ourselves, it can be more meaningful.

A big part of self care is the process of figuring out our own systems for supporting our well being – systems that can be repeated every day without too much effort.

Here are 6 strategies to consider if you’re trying to build in easy ways of incorporating self care into your day:

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Create daily peaceful routines that are centering and grounding.

Consider having morning routine that supports you. This can include journaling, exercise, meditation, a nourishing breakfast, reading inspirational books and any other structured and elevating activities that give you strength and peace…

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Escaping the Rat Race: Lessons from Buddhism — Pointless Overthinking

As humans we spend most of our lives in a state of perpetual craving and desire. We land a big promotion at work, but soon fantasize about continuing to move up the corporate ladder. We become consumed by discontent and dissatisfaction as we constantly compare our social standing to that of our peers.  Wealth, status…

Escaping the Rat Race: Lessons from Buddhism — Pointless Overthinking

Ways to Reset Your Happiness Set Point

Workplace Navigator

I wrote this over 7 years ago and as I reread it now, I realize that I really have reset my happiness set point. Enjoy!

Iwrote a post a few weeks ago about perfectionism. In the post, I brought up Hedonic Adaptation which involves a happiness “set point”, whereby humans generally maintain a constant level of happiness throughout their lives, despite events that occur in their environment. So whether it’s buying a new Mercedes or crashing your new Mercedes, your level of happiness resets to the same pre-event level. A reader asked that I expound on how I have tried to reset my happiness set point.

So I’ve tried to reset my “set point” and it turns out there is some science behind it. I think I first became aware of this by reading “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. In the book, she chronicles…

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Is Sensitivity a Strength or a Weakness? — Borderless

By Candice Louisa Daquin Rodin’s The Thinker. Courtesy: Creative Commons “I may be a dreamer, But I’m not the only one.” — John Lennon (Imagine). As a child I remember understanding on a very basic level the concept of cruelty. I recall vaguely thinking in the simple way children think; “Why is that person so […]

Is Sensitivity a Strength or a Weakness? — Borderless

The Positives of Failing — Olivia Lucie Blake

Did you know there are positives in failing? I didn’t realise this until I failed something quite important to me. I needed to pass, but God said no, it’s not time yet. You need to learn what it feels like to fail. We all go through times in our lives when we pass or fail […]

The Positives of Failing — Olivia Lucie Blake

The Hero Within

A Life of Virtue: Philosophy as a Way of Life

Why is it that hero stories continue to capture the human imagination?

While we have no shortage of action-packed Marvel films, the archetypal hero myth is manifested is different cultures throughout history.

If you pay close attention, you’ll start to realize similarities in structure and pattern across different stories and mythology. Achilles in the Homer’s Iliad, to Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars films and Frodo Baggins in Lord of the Rings are all connected in their journeys of adventure and personal transformation.

For the mythologist and scholar Joseph Campbell, the ubiquity of these stories reveals some fundamental truth about the human experience. He calls this framework commonly found in our literature, stories and films the hero’s journey.

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The Framework

In the Hero with a Thousand Faces Joseph Campbell lays out the 17 steps of the hero’s journey which can be summarized in

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Don’t be Afraid to Take the First Step

Be Inspired..!!

Why is taking the first step always the hardest?

Why people are so scared of stepping out very first?

It happens! Even it’s me as well. I was afraid to move out first, and then to come out from my comfort zone. It’s really, really very hard.

What’s the reason?

It’s our insecurities that push us back and we get scared to move ahead. But, we forget that the greatest person of today was once a beginner. Yes, he also faced lots of insecurities, challenges, and fear of coming out for the very first time. However, he did it and overcame his fear. Hurray!!!

Yes, it’s not easy to take the first step and face the world. But, you are not alone, your ideas, thoughts, willpower, vigor accompany you that keep pushing you ahead to do it. And, you will do it.

Don’t let your fear overpower your willingness to…

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What IS Self-Love?

Self Love Finder

“To me, loving yourself is the hardest, bravest and most important thing you will ever do.”
-Kim Lawrence Kellner @selflovefinder
Photo taken by: Karina Walker

I have been advocating for self-love to anyone who would listen ever since I began my own self-love journey about 5 years ago. But what IS it?

What is Self-Love?

According to Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D., CEO of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, self-love is how we appreciate our whole selves – physically, psychologically and spiritually. For so long, I thought that self-love was about how you feel about yourself, but it wasn’t until I started on my own self-love path that I realized that it was more than that. Self-love is how you put your appreciation of yourself into action. Feelings are fleeting; they come and they go, so it is the action of appreciating and loving oneself that determines how self-loving…

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Measuring Success|| How do I know When I’m Truly Winning? -Shavon D. Dillon — Motivated to Win

This picture illustrates an exemplar of how society views success. Read and understand my perception below. Winning in the 21st century means that one is SUCCESSFUL or on the path of eminent success. But how do you really measure success? Maybe we are measuring success on a faulty scale; a scale used to measure success […]

Measuring Success|| How do I know When I’m Truly Winning? -Shavon D. Dillon — Motivated to Win